Makin' that 'Bling' for COMCAST

I recently have been trying to get Internet service at my place of residence, in 'International City', South West Philadelphia PA...After considering a number of options, all bad, including Verizon & CricKet wireless, I decided to go with the beastial COMCAST...Let me describe my experience, in a nutshell.

After having spoken with a number of COMCAST installers, who warned me about COMCAST's 'bait & switch' tactics, I made some calls to their 'customer service'.

I say 'a number of calls' because when you talk to someone at COMCAST, they are usually either trying to sell you something you don't want or they are clueless...The first call was to a young man, who initially offered me a price of around $50 a month for both the basic cable & the Internet...He had to check my address, and see if the services were available there...I was sure they were, because I have cables running out the walls in all the rooms...Anyway, I tentatively agreed to get the service, and we turned to the details of getting it hooked up...Midway in the conversation, the price went up to $80 a month...I said 'Wait, you just said $50 a month, plus tax, with a $50 hook up fee'...He says, 'I didn't say that'...I say 'Listen, I'm not insane...5 minutes ago you said $50 a month'...He says, 'You must have heard wrong. I never said that'...I say 'OK, goodbye'...One of the technicians I had talked with told me that they do this, and it depends on the customer rep you get...Some are honest, some lie...OK

Next day, I try again...This time I get a nice lady named Marsha...She says, 'Sure...$50 a month for cable/net, $50 hook up, no problem'...I say 'Yesterday someone told me $80, and I got pissed'...She just laughed.

So, I say OK, and then she tells me to get the account going I have to bring a number of documents to the COMCAST 'security' window on Columbus Blvd...I have to bring a current lease, SS card, driver's license, and proof of address for my last residence...OK.

I go to Columbus Blvd. and talk with a nice girl named Charlissa...She make photo copies of my papers, faxes them to COMCAST 'security central' and nicely gives me back my originals and the photocopies...This is Friday before Labor Day...I ask 'How long will this take?'...She says 'We work 365/24/7...72 hours at most'...I say 'OK, good...Will they call me or should I call COMCAST'...She write down her name and gives me a phone number...She says 'They'll call you, but I will be handling the account...Here is my number'.

I don't hear anything from them for 4/5 days, so I decide to call this Charlissa...Well, even though it is a (215) phone number, I get COMCAST central calling, and have to listen to a recording of Shaquille O'Neill & Ben Stein talking BS about COMCAST...No Charlissa...So when I finally get through to a rep, I ask 'Can I get my service?'...They say 'It hasn't been cleared by security yet'...I say 'Is there someone I can call at COMCAST security?'...'Well, here's a phone number'...I call the number and get the voice mail of a Maryann...I leave a message.

No return call...I call two more times...No call back...After 10 DAYS, out of the blue, I get a call from a garbled voice that says 'This is MMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMM COMCAST calling about your service'....I return the call...No call back...Finally after another week I get a hold of this woman named Michella Marshall...I say 'What about my service?'...She says 'Well, security has cleared you, but it says on the lease blah, blah, blah and you want blah, blah, blah...'...I say 'Forget the lease...Can I get service?'...She says 'Well, sure, do you want to set up an appointment for a tech to hook you up?'...I say 'Yeah'...

So we set up an appointment, for a Thursday...'Will you be home between 11 AM & 1 PM?'...'Sure'...At this point it is 20 days since I visited the COMCAST office to start my account.

I don't work on Thursdays...So, I get up about 10 AM to be ready for the tech...At 10:45 I go to the bathroom and leave my cell phone downstairs...When I go down, I see I have a voice mail...It is the COMCAST tech...He says 'This is COMCAST...I'm here, where are you at?'...So I call him back and say 'Sorry, I was in the bathroom'...He says 'Oh lord, are you there now?'...I say 'Yeah, it's 11 AM'...He hangs up.

The tech knocks on the door...He appears to be a nice African-American young man...I say 'Sorry, I missed your call, I hope I didn't inconvenience you'...He says something and goes out to his truck, parked across the street.

When he comes back, I tell him what I had ordered from COMCAST: 2 cable boxes, and two hi-speed modems...He says 'Two modems?...I never heard 'a that!'...I say 'Well, we have a TV downstairs, anda PC, and we have a TV upstairs and a laptop, so we need those connected'...'Man, you can't have two modems!'...'Why?...We have two computers...Customer service said the extra modem would be an additional $3 a month'...'Man, I don't install two modems...My work order says one modem...'sides, if you have two modems, you got to pay another $20 a month to get a feed through that modem'...'That's not what customer service told me'.

'Well, man, I ain't got time for this shit...I got money to make...You holdin' me up'...I say, 'Well, forget it then. Roll...I'll talk to customer service and get another tech out here. I'm not paying for something I didn't order'.

At this point, he gets very nervous, and starts sweating. He gets on the phone to his 'supervisor'...He starts whining about 'This guy want two modems and my work order say one...Man, I gots money to make, and he holding me up'...I talk to the supervisor, and the supe starts giving me a line of bullshit...I tell the supe 'Well, then forget it...Let your man roll...I don't want something I didn't order'...I give the phone back to the tech, smile and tell him 'Have a nice day'.

I go back inside, pissed and vowing to forget COMCAST...I light a smoke and my cell phone rings...It's a COMCAST customer rep...He says 'Oh, Mr.Dialogue, how are you...Is there a problem with your service?'...I take a sip of cold coffee...'Well, yes...Your service order didn't have what I wanted, and you tech told me he couldn't be bothered with me because he had money to make, so you can cancel my order'...Service Rep: 'Oh wait...That's not right what the tech did...'...We discuss the matter...We decide that, for now, I will have just one modem and 2 cable boxes, because the tech doesn't have an extra modem on the truck!...The rep tells me that COMCAST will waive the $50 install fee for 'my inconvenience'...I say 'OK'...Service Rep: 'Is the tech still there?'...I look out the door, and the truck is gone...I say 'No'...Service Rep: 'I'll take care of it' and hangs up.

Five minutes later, I hear a knock on my door...It's the tech...He's really sweating now...Someone must have reamed his as out on the phone...He brings in the 2 cable moxes and the modem...The he says 'Man, if you woulda just listened to me, I coulda been outa' here by now'...I say 'But you weren't going to install the service I ordered: Do you understand that?'...He just laughed...Anyway, he installed the boxes and the modem...I sak him 'Listen, aren't you supposed to give me an installation disc so that the computers can talk to the modems?'...'No man, we don't have no discs...It'll work: I gotta go...Sign this'...I signed the work order saying he was at the house.

Of course neither computer worked, because we needed an INSTALLATION DISC so that the computers could talk to the modem and the remote server...I know a few things about networks, since I have a diploma in network administration and tech support from Chubb Institute...It has taken me another week of talking to various 'technical support' and 'customer service' at COMCAST to get this fact confirmed...The rep I talked to today said 'Didn't the tech install the software needed for your computers to work?'...I said 'No, he was too busy tryin' to make his 'bling'...The customer rep profusely apologized, and said I wouldn't be charged for the extra service call...I await the next tech on this Thursday morning...It has been a month since I mad my first call to COMCAST...

But, a happy ending!...This past Thursday, after a MONTH of aggravation, a different service tech came over with an INSTALLATION DISC...When he comes in he sees my computer and says 'Man, I don't think I can work with that system: It's too old, and I build computers mysel!'...I say 'Can you just put the disc in and try it?'...He grunts, but goes along with my wishes...Guess what?...IT WORKS, and now I have the Internet!...I tell the tech to always 'remeber the importance of positive thinking!'...Yeah, well, anyway...

Perhaps this was just fate as I have never liked COMCAST from the jump...COMCAST is currently, and has been (for 10 years) in violation of it's license with the FCC by refusing to provide Public Access TV (where anyone can have a show for a nominal fee: COMCAST has already built three small studios for this around the city) because they say it will promote HATE SPEECH!

An interesting link:

And an answer as to why COMCAST service is so bad (believe me, I am one of THOUSANDS!):

Because they can get away with it, and they have a 'kulture' (with a 'k') of sleaze starting with the Roberts family from the top...Now, the fish rots from the head...They are the epitome of the whole global monopoly/swindle game as it is played here...They don't care!!!...They have BILLIONS, they have a captive audience...And another poster made a good point: They hire 'ghetto boys' and 'wiggers' as installation techs, and then put them on a 'sub-contract' basis, where they are rewarded for installations made, not successful installations...Their customer service is spread out in call centers all over North America...I spent 1/2 hour talking to a rep who was based outside of Toronto...She was interesting, telling me about how her pet scorpion stung her that day, and her how she had a new baby and seven cats...But she had no clue about any technical matters, in fact, she tried to sell me a 'service package'...They are all told to SELL YOU SOMETHING...Most Americans are so dumb they will buy anything, anyway...COMCAST has a culture of the fast-shuffle, the double talk...Oh, and check this out...Everybody that calls COMCAST gets a message of 'This is Shaquille O'Neill...and 'This is Ben Stein'...COMCAST offers you the best.....'...Now, if you don't have a COMCAST account, after hearing this message, you get a number of menu options, and if you want to speak to a customer rep, you get the message 'All COMCAST reps are busy right now, please hold for the next available...'...Then music comes on...Then you get another ad that says 'Did you know that COMCAST...'...THEN, the music comes on for about 10 seconds, and you hear a voice that says 'This is COMCAST, can I help you?'...You think it's a real person, because the audio sample is good...Then you hear 'Hey this is Shaq, just kidding ha, ha, ha!!!'.


Shaquille O'Neal & Ben Stein/COMCAST